It’s that time of the year again — the Oscar nominations are officially out, and that seems to be the only thing people talk about these days. Guesses and predictions about who is going to win what award are everywhere, and the Best Actor category specifically has a lot of buzz surrounding it. Rightly so — it’s one of the most coveted award for actors in modern times. But rather than focusing on compelling performances and killer screen presence of this year’s nominees for Best Actor, my speculations seem to have taken a different route all together. I mean, anyone can sit and speculate about who’s going to win the Oscar, so why not speculate about something a little more… fun? And so, I found myself wondering — what kind of underwear are these guys wearing? It may seem a little strange to some, but hey — I believe you can tell a lot about a guy by the kind of underwear he’s wearing, and this rule works the other way around too.
Join me on my journey as I try to uncover what goes on beneath the surface of these distinguished Oscar nominees:
Bradley Cooper is a known name in Hollywood — both for his great acting skills as well as his great looks. And his nomination for A Star is Born is special because he didn’t just act in it, he directed it too. That sounds like a lot of work — he needs underwear that allows him to move around freely while keeping things dry and comfy down under. So when I think of poor Bradley prancing around the set — trying to see if everything is in order while also memorizing his lines — I can’t think of him wearing anything but the printed briefs from the Jockey 1876 collection.
Being a man that wears many hats — director, actor, painter, poet, prankster, and a whole lot more — Viggo Mortensen clearly has a lot going on. His dashing European looks, middle-aged status, and free-spirited artistic vibe all point to one thing — this guy does NOT wear briefs. If I had to bet, I’d put my money on the Jockey International Collection ultra-soft trunks.
Pardon my lack of research, but Willem Dafoe is quite the enigma to me. It’s probably because I don’t know enough about him and base all my opinions of him on his portrayal of The Green Goblin in Spider-man, but oh well! This guy is shrouded in a whole lot of mystery. His Oscar-nominated film, At Eternity’s Gate (a biography of Vincent Van Gogh’s life) doesn’t really help me with my inference of what kind of underwear he’s wearing, so I’m going to go ahead and make a bold claim. I think a man as enigmatic as Mr. Dafoe is probably going commando.
Prominent actor Christian Bale is known for his method acting and near shape-shifter like abilities to transform into just about any character. This is especially true when it comes to his Oscar-nominated role in Vice, where Bale manages to look like a spitting image of Dick Chaney. When I think of what kind of underwear a man like Bale would wear, it’d have to be something that’s sleek and stylish while also being extremely comfortable. The only thing that comes to mind — trunks from the Jockey International Collection.
Breakout star Rami Malek has really made it big with his role as Freddie Mercury that earned him an Oscar nomination. But something tells me that this guy isn’t all that accustomed to the limelight just yet. He seems like a laid-back, boy next door who is a real sucker for comfort. So my best guess when it comes to his underwear… the Jockey USA original trunks.
How I wish I had any proof or indication to back my claims here, but you’re just going to have to take my word for it. But I bet I’ve got the idea stuck in your head, and that it’s going to keep gnawing at the back of your mind while you’re watching the Oscars. That’s all I can hope to come out of this ridiculous train of thought!
Kavya can be quite the oddball—from her taste in music to how she chooses to dress. She is a lover of all puns and dry absurdist humour, and her existential angst goes out the window when she’s hanging out with her dog. Follow her on instagram (__K.jpg), she promises to keep you entertained!